Infinity '99 Girls...Vegas baby, VEGAS!

While we were driving home from our first out of state tournament to Las Vegas we asked our daughter Maddie what the best part of the trip was for her. We expected answers like seeing grandma and grandpa, visiting the M&M store, swimming, the team party, or any of the fun glittery things you can do in Vegas. But she immediately answered, “Playing soccer!”

It has been quite an adventure for our young team. We started out trying to go to a tournament at the beginning of December. That tournament was cancelled so we decided to go to one over Martin Luther King Jr. Holiday. Along the way we had many lifelong memories. We cleaned the Spectrum twice, cleaned a neighbor’s yard, sold concessions at a men’s indoor tournament, and hosted a U10/11 boys-girls tournament.

The tournament we hosted was a fast, furious, and fun event! Some of the girls played 9 games in one day. They were able to play together and then play with other teams. It was great fun to watch them play so hard against some very tough boys’ teams and then join them to play with them at other times. It was a fun soccer community building activity.

We also scrimmaged many different teams throughout Cache Valley to prepare. Thanks to Crossfire, Bobcats, Infinity U10 boy’s premier, and Hot Shots for willingly come help us prepare by giving us very challenging scrimmages. We got to see different styles of play and coaching which helped us to prepare.


When we left for Vegas we didn’t know what to expect. We were both excited and nervous. But all that preparation paid off. Our first game on Friday night we won 11-0. We went to a Round Table Pizza after the game to celebrate. Take a look on the back wall and you’ll now see an Infinity practice jersey with all the girls’ signatures pinned to the wall! Then on Saturday we had two games that we won 6-1 and the 3-0. After that game we had a well deserved pool party. It was very hard for the girls to wait that long to finally go swimming. Sunday was a free day where many girls went to the M&M store, Red Rock State Park, or just played at the arcade! Then on Monday we had a morning game that we won 11-0. WE WERE IN THE CHAMPIONSHIP!!!! We played extremely hard and never gave up! We ended up taking second place. Yes, we lost the game in PK’s but the smiles on the girls’ faces in the end reminded us if you all had fun then you all WON!!!

All of the games were great fun. We had four guest players play with us. All of the girls played terrific and got along great. The sportsmanship that Coach Doney instilled in us earned a complement from the tournament staff. Each girl who traveled on our Infinity SC girls 99 is a better player for having gone to the tournament. We can’t wait for the next one!!!

Coping with Mistakes: Teaching Tolerance

by Tony DiCicco, Thursday, May 22, 2008 1:00 PM ET

Tolerance is important not only between and among teammates but also for individual players personally. Ideally, this tolerance starts at the top with the coach.

Players make mistakes, some of them physical and some mental. It's the job of a coach to point out those mistakes, to help each player recognize the error and then, more important, provide the tools to correct it. It's also the job of the coach to make it clear that if a player makes a mistake, it's not the end of the world.

It's equally vital to coach players when they've been successful. In fact, the most enlightened coaches spend more time congratulating successes than correcting mistakes.

Over the years I've had players who, when they made a mistake, were clearly much harder on themselves than they would have been on a teammate who'd made the same mistake. These players take themselves down emotionally and tear themselves up mentally. Frankly, I was like that too. But what you have to understand is that if you're a member of a team, you have the responsibility to keep your own performance up.

If you tear yourself down or beat yourself up, you're not only hurting your own performance but also the collective performance of the team.

It is crucial to teach your players to have tolerance for their own performance and a realistic understanding that no one's perfect. Obviously, this isn't easy for most of us. To facilitate the process you can encourage your players to begin to build key words or phrases that will get them back on focus.

SHIFTING FOCUS FROM PAST. As a goalkeeper I used to say to myself when I'd make a mistake in a game, "OK, that was a bad play, but you're going to need to come up with a big play to win this game." So immediately, instead of focusing on the bad play I'd just made, I started focusing on that big play in order to reshape my mental approach. I didn't know when I was going to make it, but I knew that when I got the opportunity, it was going to be a big play that would turn the game around. In essence, my focus shifted from the past to the present because I needed to be ready now, in the moment.

Besides teaching self-tolerance, a coach must insist that his or her players are tolerant of their teammates. You cannot have a successful team if you have players who, when somebody makes a mistake, point fingers at their teammate or exhibit body language that says, "What the heck is this person doing?"

This kind of behavior definitely does not help performance. Instead, you need leaders and teammates who will actively support each other and boost the team's competitive edge through their understanding of competitive dynamics.

The best example I've seen of this occurred during the quarterfinals of the 1999 World Cup. We were playing Germany, one of the best teams in the world, and in the first five minutes of the game, Brandi Chastain kicked the ball into our own goal (essentially scoring a goal for Germany). She was in shock. At that point Carla Overbeck came up to her and said, "Brandi, we've got 85 minutes left to go. We'll get the goal back. But we need you in the game. Let's play."

This snapped Brandi back into the moment. The fairy-tale ending is that Brandi actually ended up scoring the tying goal in the second half of that World Cup quarterfinal. I don't think she would have scored that goal without the support and tolerance of her teammates for a very unfortunate mistake at a very crucial point in the game.

TRUST. On a personal level, an individual has to be pretty courageous to stay in there physically and emotionally to turn things around. It's not an easy thing to do when a player's confidence is in the gutter.

Some can do it consistently, but other players can only do it occasionally. I think it's the coach's job to try and facilitate the likelihood of that happening. You have to trust your players, trust that they can turn things around, trust that they can overcome their mistakes, and believe that they will be successful.

If you must take a player out of the game, and sometimes you will, then you've got to build up that player's confidence as soon as possible. In essence, you've got to rebuild her self-esteem. Players need to know that your coaching decisions are performance related and not personal.

Colleen has some great advice for helping players to do that. She would tell the players, "Look, let's get past it now. Let's focus on the plays you know you can make and have made so well and so often in the past. Let's play in the moment and deal with the mistakes later."

(Excerpted from "Catch Them Being Good: Everything You Need to Know to Successfully Coach Girls" by Tony DiCicco, Colleen Hacker & Charles Salzberg courtesy of Penguin Books.)

Tony DiCicco coached the U.S. women's national team to the 1996 Olympic Gold Medal and the 1999 Women's World Cup title. DiCicco, founder and director of SoccerPlus Camps , will be the Boston Breakers head coach when the club begins play in April of 2009 in the new women's professional soccer league. He is currently coach of the U.S. U-20 women's national team.

Girls & Boys: Taking Gender Into Account

by Emily Cohen, Thursday, Oct 30, 2008 6:30 PM ET

My daughter comes bursting through the door after soccer practice and exclaims, "Mom! We had so much fun! Maya and Natalie and I got to be on the same team!" "Did you win?" I ask. She replies, "I have no idea."

What a difference that is from when my son comes home from practice or, even more so, from a game. He can recite every well-executed play and missed opportunity in excruciating detail. But when I ask whether his best friend was on his team for the scrimmage, he replies, "No, but who cares? My team won!"
In a nutshell, these two scenarios capture the essence of how boys and girls approach sports differently. Of course, there are always exceptions -- the supercompetitive girl, the boy who would rather sit on the bench and chat with his buddy than be on the playing field -- but, in general, most of the coaches and parents I talked with agreed: For girls, the social interaction and the experience of being on a team with friends is No. 1. And for boys, it's much more about the end result.

So how can coaches apply this conventional wisdom to improve their coaching -- and get the best out of their players, whether they be girls or boys? Here's what I heard from a few longtime coaches who have successfully coached both genders, from elementary through high school.

Work with not against the innate gender differences

Girls are more concerned about having their friends on their team rather than winning. Sure, they like to win, but it's more important if they do so while playing with their friends. As one longtime coach told me, "I've never had to tell the boys to stop holding hands during practice, but I have had to ask them to quit jumping on each other or wrestling."

Given this, when you divvy up your team for squads, make sure you put at least two girls who are buddies together from the get-go, and you'll avoid the whining about who's on whose team later on. Boys -- because they're concerned more with winning -- won't worry about friendships on the team, but will worry about "fairness" or the "evenness" of the teams athletically.

Encourage the natural strengths and develop the weaknesses of each gender

Girls are experiential and process-oriented. You'll see that girls work just as hard as -- or even harder than -- the boys, but the girls care more about the overall effort than simply counting the numbers in the win and loss columns. With girls, if you spend time talking about their improvements, they'll work even harder and you'll quickly see a direct correlation to the overall win/loss record.

On the other hand, boys are much more results-oriented. It's not that they can't be focused on the journey, it's just that their DNA is geared toward winning and losing. With boys, you need to guide them to put effort into improving skills and getting something out of the experience -- encouraging them to understand that the journey, not just the number of Ws, is the reward.

Resolve problems collaboratively for girls, one-on-one for boys

Girls and boys approach problem-solving differently. Because of this, when you have an issue with a specific player -- or there's a problem with the team dynamic -- you should take gender into account.

With girls, yelling simply doesn't work. Coaches who approach girls as they would boys find this out the hard way. When you are upset with the attitude or effort of your female players, the best way to handle it is with a team meeting. Start by asking them what they think the problem is. Nine times out of 10, the girls will have already pinpointed the problem and have several solutions to propose. Girls work things out collaboratively -- as a team. It might be painful, but the results you see in the end will be worth it.

In contrast, boys need to be listened to and heard. If a boy on your team is acting out or needs help focusing, you should address it with the player, one-on-one, clear the air, and move on. You might have to get the boy's attention by raising your voice and making an example of him in front of his peers, but once you do, and you clearly explain your expectations, you should be on your way to a better team dynamic.

(Emily Cohen is a freelance writer living in Berkeley, Calif. She is the mother of a son, 12, and a daughter, 9, who both play multiple sports. She has been a team manager for her children's soccer, baseball and softball teams.)

Practicing Solo: The 720 Challenge

by Brandi Chastain, Thursday, May 8, 2008 7:30 PM ET

It's amazing how much more technical and organized soccer training is now. When I was growing up, we practiced twice a week (three times when I got older) and played one game on the weekend, unless there was a tournament, and I didn't start playing in tournaments until I was 11.

Today, with year-round soccer (which I didn't play until I was nearly in college), there are an incredible number of games being played. Too many in my opinion (but that's another story).

Children in sports are often overly organized. Informal play gives them the opportunity to be independent, creative, and self-motivated. They dictate the place, the time, the rules, and the structure - or lack of it. When I was young, aside from formal practice, I was out on my front lawn everyday, juggling or kicking a ball. I'd play with the neighborhood kids or my brother.

He and I often took it into the house, playing 1 v 1 in our hallway, which couldn't have been more than three feet wide. (Of course, that would drive our mother crazy.)

That said, these casual skill sessions don't have to last for hours - even 15 minutes a day of juggling or footwork can be a significant addition when compounded over time. Mix it up with friends, or play a little by yourself.

What's important is that you develop the habit, and put the fun into it, the way we did with the National Team. We played informal games and created challenges against one another all the time. The rewards are simple, but satisfying, like the losers serving the winners lunch and busing their trays in the cafeteria of the Home Depot Center, buying coffee or smoothies, or hitting the ground for push-ups and sit-ups while the winners gloat.

Going for '720'

Try this ultimate challenge. It's called 720, and here's why. Using these 12 ball-juggling surfaces (laces/instep of both feet, outside of the feet, inside of the feet, thighs, chest, shoulders, head - click here for a video showing the 12 surfaces) and keeping the ball up in the air, use as many of those surfaces as you can in 60 seconds. Multiply the number of surfaces you successfully use (at least once), by the number of seconds you keep the ball up.

Your maximum scored would be 12 x 60 = 720.


Excerpted from "It's Not About the Bra: How to Play Hard, Play Fair, and Put the Fun Back into Competitive Sports" By Brandi Chastain with Gloria Averbuch courtesy of HarperCollins.

Brandi Chastain made 192 appearances and scored 30 goals for the U.S. women's national team in 1988-2004. She won two Women's World Cups (1991 & 1999) and two Olympic gold medals (1996 & 2004).

Parents On The Other Side

Writen by Emily Cohen. From Soccer America's Youth Soccer Insider, learn more at www.SoccerAmerica.com.
Have an opinion on this story? Click the comment link.

Two weeks ago, our soccer league had its end of year tournament. As the previous game ended, my daughter's coach strode to the far side of the field to set up the bench for the girls. The coach -- and the parents -- of our opponents surprisingly followed suit, setting up camp directly next to our team.

After politely asking the other team's coach and parents to go to the other side of the field and receiving the reply, "No, we'd like to stay right here," my daughter's coach shrugged his shoulders and sighed -- and hoped for the best. What was that? That the parents on the other team would respect the game and not scream and shout at the players, as we had seen occur in the prior game.

Luckily, the other team's parents granted our wish and were well-behaved in our game. But the game before ours was ugly. Both teams and their respective parents were on the same side of the field. Just as the game got underway, one team's parents started a rousing cheer. As soon as they were done, the other team's parents looked at each other and, not to be outdone, came up with a similar -- but louder -- cheer for their team.

The constant organized cheers continued throughout the game, along with parents yelling "instructions" to the players ("Where were you going with that ball, Katie?" and "Kick it, Susie!" were just two of the so-called encouraging comments overheard) at the same time as the coaches. It was complete cacophony. The parents were louder than the coaches. And the girls had no idea whom to listen to.

While many leagues' (including ours) rules of play both dictate that, wherever possible, teams should be on opposite sides of the field and their supporters and parents must be on the same side as their team, I think it's time to put a new standard in place across all of youth soccer: Parents should be on the opposite touchline as the players and the coaches.

Why? First, players need to be able to distinguish instruction from the coach or coaches and noise from the parents, who are not supposed to be coaching. As one parent of three youth soccer players put it, "You get the whole sideline full of parents yelling to the kids while the coaches are also trying to be heard." If parents are on the opposite touchline, players can more readily hear their coach or coaches and can make adjustments quickly in a fast-paced game. Simply put, it helps players play better.

Second, keeping parents and coaches separate on opposite sidelines helps referees do their jobs better. Brian Hall, the USSF Referee Department's Manager of Assessment and Training, recently told Soccer America that he is in favor of restricting parents to the opposite sideline because, "It makes it easy for referees to distinguish between the parents and the coaches when they want to take action," Hall said. "You know specifically who you're dealing with - who you can do something official with."

And finally, keeping parents away from the team helps coaches coach better too. One longtime youth soccer coach, when asked whether he would continue to coach, joked, "Only for a team of 11 orphans." Another coach told me that, although team on one side and parents on the other is the rule in his league, he'd "prefer to have the team and coaches on one side and have the parents stay at home. Actually, some duct tape for the parents would suffice too."

One well-respected coach in our league said that he felt parents were a distraction to the players, not just verbally, but also physically. He recalled several situations where a player would come out of the game and her parent would ask her -- in front of the coach -- if she was too tired to go back into the game! And another parent would sit so close to the bench that her daughter sat on her lap rather than with her teammates on the bench.

It's pretty clear from these examples that parents get in the way of players' ability to play, referees' ability to ref, and coaches' ability to coach. Recognizing this, the English FA has recently gone as far as to dictate that parents must be on the opposite touchline from the teams in all youth games and that they watch from a marked area two yards back from the sideline. This puts parents even further back from the action and give the players and referees more room to play and ref the game.

I think it's time American youth soccer gives the game back to the players, coaches, and refs and out of the mouths of parents.

(Emily Cohen is a freelance writer living in Berkeley, Calif. She is the mother of a son, 12, and a daughter, 9, who both play multiple sports. She has been a team manager for her children's soccer, baseball and softball teams.)