Being a good sports parent Let the kids enjoy the game, experts say

Being a good sports parent
Let the kids enjoy the game, experts say
By Jane Weaver
In March a brawl among parents of 9- and 10-year-old hockey players in upstate
New York resulted in eight people facing misdemeanor charges and a father suffering
a dislocated shoulder after being pushed off the bleachers.
At a Pittsburgh high school basketball game in February, a referee was treated for a
concussion after a parent body-slammed him for ordering the man's wife out of the
gym for allegedly yelling obscenities.
An over-eager New Jersey father created his own soccer league last fall because his
7-year-old son was too young to play in a competitive league.
What's wrong with grown-ups these days?
Are some of them just aging failed athletes trying to live vicariously through their
athletic children? Anxious moms and dads hoping that their kids can snare college
sports scholarships? Or fanatic parents pushing their offspring to become elite
athletes with specialized training, summer camps and personal coaches, whether the
child wants it or not?
All of the above, say youth sports experts.
Barely out of diapers
Almost 30 million boys and girls under 18 play some kind of organized sport like
Little League or soccer, according to the National Council on Youth Sports. For many
of them, it's a way to make new friends and play a game they enjoy.
But over the last decade, more otherwise well-meaning parents have been pushing
their budding stars to excel at almost any cost.
Children as young as 3 can sign up for swimming and gymnastics programs. Soccer
often starts at 4 and baseball at 5. From there it's become increasingly common for
parents to rush the kids into highly competitive situations when they're barely out of
diapers.
"Youth sports has clearly become more professionalized in recent years," says Gregg
Heinzmann, associate director of New Jersey's Rutgers Youth Sports Research
Council. "Many more parents want to see their kids achieve some level of success, be
it athletic scholarship or in certain cases a pro sports contract."
That hyper-competitive atmosphere can translate into overly involved parents ready
to explode at any coach, referee or other parent who interferes with their own
children's performances.
"You'll see lawyers and doctors at little girls' or boys' games and some of these
people, it's like they've taken a pill that turns them into demons," says Steve
Dawson, associate professor of sports sociology at Wittenberg University in
Springfield, Ohio.
Dawson, who is a long-time coach of a high school club soccer team, tells the story
of the mother of a 5th grade girls' basketball team who loudly and publicly cheered
her daughter for making an opponent cry.
"That's just a minor incident, but it's typical of how carried away some parents get,"
says Dawson.
'The Tiger Woods syndrome'
Youth sports activist Bob Bigelow calls it "the Tiger Woods syndrome" where parents
think they have to push their little kids earlier.
It's parents like that who are ruining youth sports by treating their kids like
"miniature adults," says Bigelow, a former first-round NBA draft pick and author of
"Just Let The Kids Play."
Dr. Bruce Svare, professor of psychology at the State University of New York at
Albany and founder of the National Institute for Sports Reform, says there's a danger
to a child's self-esteem when parents send the message to their kids that what
they're doing isn't valuable unless they can turn it into something material like a
scholarship.
"More parents view their kids as an economic investment that has to be translated
into something later on," says Svare.
Dawson agrees. "We've become so competitive, it's out of control."
Parents should take note: A 2001 study by the National Alliance for Youth Sports
found that 70 percent of American kids who sign up for sports quit by the time they
were 13. The reason? They said it wasn't fun anymore.
"It's a downside of 10- to 12-year-olds who sit on benches because adults think it's
more important to win," says Bigelow. "Too may parents are buying into it."
"At one level a lot of parents realize it but they're caught on a treadmill," says Svare.
"No one's pointing out that it's easier to get an academic scholarship than an athletic
one."
To give some perspective, it's widely cited that there is 70 times as much money
available for academic scholarships than for athletic ones. Picking up a paycheck in
the National Basketball Association is a 1 in 10,000 chance. The odds of winning an
Olympic gold medal are 1 in a million.
Then again, few academic scholarship candidates are treated like rock stars in their
home towns or are offered million dollar salaries.
Family time matters
But parents who go to great lengths to help their kids get a sports scholarship or pro
contract may be sacrificing valuable family time, experts say.
"They're living in minivans [driving to and from practice and games] and they don’t
spend time together as a family, and that is every bit as important as kids having
long practices," says Dr. Charles Yesalis, a Penn State professor of health and human
development. "Kids doing sports activities three to five hours a day for five days a
week is almost child abuse." But the kids may not speak up for themselves,
according to Yesalis. "When you talk to kids away from their parents, they feign
injuries because they're burned out," he says. "They don’t want parents to know
because of their financial and time commitment."
Although brawling, abusive parents aren't the norm, at least 15 states have adopted
statutes making it a crime to assault sports officials. Community leagues require
parents to sign codes of conduct, in addition to developing education programs and
forums for parents to address the issues of "sideline rage" and pushing kids too hard.
"Codes and programs are fine, but they’re not going to get the job done," says Frank
Smoll, a University of Washington psychology professor and co-author of "Sports and
Your Child: A 50 Minute Guide for Parents."
"The parents who show up to education programs aren’t the ones who need the
training," he says.
Was it fun?
So how does a mom or dad avoid becoming a crazed, overbearing sports parent with
a stressed-out, unhappy child? Here's some advice:
• Reward your child whether the team wins or loses.
• If you have a complaint or concern, don't raise it in the middle of a game.
• Applaud when either team makes a good play.
• Praise effort.
• Respect the referee’s calls.
• Talk to your neighbor during games (don't get too caught up in scores or
statistics).
• Ask your child, ‘Was it fun?’ before ‘Did you win?’
Heinzmann acknowledges that it's stressful to see your own child play, especially
when you see what you might think is an unfair call. But parents should remember
how children see sports.
"Its just a blip in the lives of these kids," says Heinzmann. "What's more important is
playing on the field under the lights and getting the chance to run the base and meet
new friends."
And whatever you do, he emphasizes, in the ride home after the game "don't say
how [the child] could have done better."

ODP Tryouts: Thoughts & Hints

Over the years and just recently I have been asked about ODP. The major question has been, "is this going to be something that makes my child just realize that she is not good enough again?" It is a common concern, as tryouts can be overwhelming on the mental side of a child. I find myself answering it in two ways: as a passionate soccer coach or as a concerned friend.

As a coach, I am a strong believer that the more time you spend on the ball, the more time you train/compete with strong players the better a player s chances are to improve their abilities as a soccer player. I believe the tryout experience provides a competitive atmosphere that is incomparable because of the level of competition and the pressure to perform at the highest level at all times. Again, as a coach, I think every player should be put in these type of situations where they have to perform to be rewarded.

As a concerned friend, I strongly suggest that the parents take on a huge role of explaining that making the ODP team is not the end all be all of their soccer career. I suggest to the parents to explain to their kids that they are there to do their best and see if they are recognized or not. They are also there to get a glimpse of what they are up against. Hopefully we as adults can steer our children in a direction that they will benefit from the experience because they were prepared properly. It is our job as adults to expect these children to go give it their best but explain that this is not the end of their soccer career if they do not make the ODP pool.

There is great pride in being invited to be part of ODP as a player. This is because there are only a select few that make it in to their age groups player pool. Players that are accepted in to the ODP pool should be proud of what they have worked hard for. Those that do not make the ODP pool should take the tryouts as an opportunity to self evaluate themselves. Hopefully this self evaluation is a positive one, as it should be an opportunity to have their eyes open to what they are capable of. Many players might attend, see the competition and want to quit after they see what they are lacking.

I strongly encourage all players that are psychologically mature enough and mentally prepared to attend all of the ODP tryouts. On the other side, if the child is not mentally mature enough to handle this highly competitive atmosphere I hope that we as adults will advise against the tryouts. If we believe that it is going to be a positive experience that increases their level of passion for the game then please attend, otherwise...there is a Real Salt Lake Match to attend!

Here are some articles to read regarding ODP tryouts:
How can I enhance my chances of being selected for ODP or a club team or a school team?
Keys To A Successful (ODP) Tryout
How Coaches Assess PlayersTalent and Potential

Infinity SC 96 Girls Premier Return From Vegas With Gold

The Infinity SC 96 Girls Premier team traveled to Las Vegas on the weekend of October 24-26 to play in the 2008 Mayor’s Cup International Tournament. Competing in the Silver Adidas bracket, the team went undefeated in four games to claim the championship trophy. Down a goal in the first game against Colorado United White, the girls struck back almost immediately, tying the game before halftime and pulling ahead to win 3-2. The next game, against Nevada FC Heat, was a 1-0 nail-biter; the semi-final against Illinois River Forest Rapids resulted in a more comfortable 3-0 finish. The Infinity team then met Colorado Storm in the championship game. Infinity scored in the first half, but Storm answered in the second: the game went to a penalty shootout with Infinity prevailing. Congratulations to the players and coaches on a job well done!

gotsoccer.com recognizes Infinity SC

gotsoccer.com is recognized as the official ranking program for youth soccer in America. This web site allows players, coaches and parents to follow their teams at a national level. Briefly, gotsoccer.com has created a system that ranks tournaments. Winning, placing or showing in a tournament gives teams points and as the year moves on points are accumulated and teams are ranked. For more detailed information click HERE.

Current Infinity Rankings on gotsoccer.com can be viewed by clicking the team you wish to view:
(28th)U12 Girls Premier
(357th) U13 Girls Premier

I Bothered Sam Snow & He Replied

I recently sent this email to Sam Snow, the USYSA Director of Coaching.

My email to Coach Snow:

Coach Snow,

I hate to bother you, as i am sure you are a very busy person. I have a brief favor to ask.

In our community we are having friendly debates/discussions on the pro's and con's of playing indoor soccer and more specifically using the walls or not. This has been a topic for discussion in many of the areas I have been in my coaching career. I was hoping you could help me out with this topic by locating a previously written article(s) about the topic or have one of the "higher ups" use this topic in one of their blogs. Having US youth make a statement or share their opinions is very beneficial. Any information or thoughts that you can provide would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you,

Jeff Ginn
Infinity Soccer


Coach Snow's Reply:

Hi Jeff,

This seems like a healthy debate for a club to have. There may be articles written specifically on the topic but I do not have anything along this line on hand. However the general consensus of the state Technical Directors is that for development purposes the Futsal version is preferred over the indoor soccer version played inside a hockey rink using the walls. Yet if no other soccer playing option is available in some climates during inclement weather then indoor soccer using the walls is better than not being able to play at all, perhaps for several months in some locales. Below is a the section on indoor soccer from the Player Development Model being written by US Youth Soccer. The full document will be made public at the 2009 US Youth Soccer adidas Workshop & Coaches Convention in San Jose next March. The portion reprinted below is from the first draft, so revisions may or may not be made.

Indoor Soccer – Futsal – Beach Soccer

One of the beauties of soccer is that the game can be played anywhere the ball can roll. Indeed playing in a variety of conditions helps to develop more well-rounded players. So a mix of outdoor and indoor soccer along with some variety in the type of playing surface, size of the field and type of ball used will have a positive impact on ball skills and clever play.

Soccer on the beach is not only great fun but certainly impacts the players’ skills and physical fitness. Players are more likely here to experiment with more acrobatic skills too.

At times the weather conditions dictate that soccer go indoors for some time. Coaches must take this fact into consideration in the curriculum for player development for the club. You could play indoor soccer inside a hockey rink type playing area using the boards or Futsal. Some indoor facilities are large enough that fields are set up and may allow even up to 11-a-side matches. All of these options keep players active in the game. The same basic skills, tactics and knowledge of the game as the 11 vs. 11 outdoor game occur indoors. Yet Futsal may offer the best compliment to player development. One of the benefits of this version of soccer is that it can be played indoors or outside, on a dedicated Futsal court or tennis court or basketball court, so the options of where to play are better. Young players exposed to playing Futsal show a greater comfort on the ball along with more intelligent movement off the ball.

The priority in Futsal is to motivate players in an environment that is conducive to learning. The more pleasure kids derive from their participation, the more they wish to play and practice on their own. While their instinct to play is natural, their affection and appreciation for soccer must be cultivated in a soccer rich environment. Futsal is the foundation to such goals because it: [i]

* Allows players to frequently touch the one "toy" on the field, namely, the ball. In a statistical study comparing Futsal to indoor arena soccer with walls, players touch the ball 210% more often.

* Presents many opportunities to score goals and score goals often. With limited space, an out of bounds and constant opponent pressure, improved ball skills are required.

* Encourages regaining possession of the ball as a productive, fun and rewarding part of the game {defending}.

* Maximizes active participation and minimizes inactivity and boredom. Action is continuous so players are forced to keep on playing instead of stopping and watching.

* Provides a well organized playing environment with improvised fields. Without a wall as a crutch, players must make supporting runs when their teammates have the ball.

* Reflects the appropriate role of the coach as a Facilitator. With all the basic options of the outdoor game in non-stop action mode, players' understanding of the game is enhanced.

* Players enjoy the challenge of playing a fast-paced-fun-skill-oriented game that tests their abilities. Allows the game to be the teacher!The

Sam Snow
Director of Coaching
US Youth Soccer

Futsal Video:

A Good Coach and Manager

Infinity Soccer holds monthly coaches meetings. In these meetings the coaches have an opportunity to share their experiences with their team(s) and give us an update on how they are doing. Another part of the meeting allows one of the three directors to give a workshop on a coaching topic. This month Infinity's Director of Operations, Robson Chaves, did a brief workshop based on the article titled, A GOOD COACH AND MANAGER. As Robson shared the document he provided some thoughts and ideas. having read the article a number of times i was excited to hear what Robson was going to share. I was very pleased with the information and would like to point out that if you ever attend a match that Robson is coaching, you will see how involved the parents are with pregame set up, medical attention, half time nourishment and post game take down. Robson has developed an environment that allows him to focus on coaching and for his players to focus on playing.

I believe that parental involvement is something we as parents and coaches do not promote enough. We as coaches feel like we have to do everything and are afraid to ask people to help.

I have recently become a big fan of delegating. Not only does it allow me to focus on the players needs more, but it also requires the parents to take ownership in the team and feel needed. A huge bonus is that when the parents have to be on time to set up or help out, the player(s) are on time.

I hope that you will all read the article and continue to develop in to a better coach, manager and/or parent.

Remember, game day is about playing and performing the things that were taught in training the week before. Let the kids play and allow the game to teach.

Click here to view the article, A GOOD COACH AND MANAGER.

Welcoming The Winter With A Reminder Of Philosophy

Infinity parents & players,

As we approach tournaments and indoor play and indoor training, I want to remind coaches and parents about the coaching philosophy that we are trying to follow. I encourage parents and coaches to stay active on the USYSA Bolg Site and enjoy the fast paced play found during our winter season.

BLOGS
Coaching education with Sam Snow
Focusing on underserved communities and youth soccer with John Thomas
Focusing on event planning with Michelle Martin
Focusing on the parent's perspective and then some with Susan Boyd

-Ginn

An article found on Sam Snow's Blog

Philosophy of Coaching

"Once they cross that line, it's their game. It's not about us as coaches; it's about them being able to make decisions."
Jay Hoffman

As a coach, you have much to prepare for each season. Of course, you are excited and eager about meeting the players and getting into the matches. You most likely have planned what you are going to do and believe that you are ready. But are you truly ready? Have you thought about the why's and how's of everything you will do as a coach? It is important as you get started in coaching to develop a philosophy. For that matter, even experienced coaches may want to re-evaluate their philosophy.

Some coaches do not believe in the value of developing a coaching philosophy. They do not realize how a philosophy can have an impact on their daily coaching procedures and strategies. However, a coach's philosophy is actually a very practical matter. Most of our basic philosophy comes from our former coaches. This is a natural start because it is the approach with which we are most familiar and comfortable. It is also reasonable to assume that the philosophy of a person's everyday life, thinking and actions would be applied when it comes to coaching. How many coaches would stick to principles of fair play rather than win the game? There may be a gap between what a coach thinks is the right thing to do in daily life and the action he or she takes on the field.

In your effort to form or analyze your own philosophy of coaching, first know what a coach is. A coach can be many things to many different people. A coach is a mentor, a teacher, a role model and sometimes a friend. Most of all, a coach must be positive. A positive coach has the following traits:

Puts players first
Develops character and skills
Sets realistic goals
Creates a partnership with the players
Treasures the game
Your approach should be educationally sound and appropriate for your players
Your philosophy must be ethical
Your coaching philosophy should be compatible with your personality
Fair Play should be a top priority in your philosophy

Coaching is much more than just following a set of principles or having a well-established program. Coaching is interaction in young people's lives. The player who comes onto the field is a student, a family member and a friend to someone. He or she is the same person in all areas of life- he or she has the same personality, ideals, flaws and struggles. It is the responsibility of the coach to help your players make right and mature decisions in all areas of their lives. You must help them develop character, discipline, self-motivation, self-worth and an excitement for life. To achieve these objectives, the coach must raise the standards that the players and others around them have set. Then you must help them reach those standards by developing appropriate relationships with them based on respect, caring and character. When character development is the foundation for your program, players will get the most out of their soccer experience. And when that happens, you will also get the most out of your players, for this makes champions.

The most successful coaches are not necessarily the ones who win the most games. Coaches who have successful experiences focus on team cohesion. The desire to see the players learn and improve their skill is the key to effective coaching. Commit yourself to using all of your knowledge, abilities and resources to make each player on the team successful. Your focus is to promote an atmosphere of teamwork, mutual respect and commitment. By achieving this we will be successful and we will also win.

Infinity SC '99 Boys Premier team completes undefeated season

Infinity SC '99 Boys Premier team finished up its District 7 soccer season. The boys were very successful as evidenced by their undefeated season. The team worked hard and had a good time learning the importance of unselfish soccer. They learned how to play as a team and improved their own individual skills as well. The team was able to score 59 goals with only 10 goals scored against them. They also had 4 shutouts. This shows that their offense was amazing as well as their outstanding defense. Ten out of eleven boys were able to score and all of the boys had multiple assists. Coach Kelly Knowles and assistant coach Kasey Erickson were very pleased with the growth of their team and the positive outcome of the season. The team has learned that not only is it fun to win but it’s also fun to watch the growth of each teammate. Members of the team include: Luke White, Kyler Erickson, Cole Atwood, Colton Lamb, Erik Rickenbach, Larry Hernandez, Kohner Knowles, Raynger Keckler, Brodie Martin, Noah Johnston, and Nathan Merrill. The team is looking forward to their next venture of indoor soccer.

Why They Stop

Last month we asked you, "why do you think kids stop playing soccer?" in our poll of the month. The results can be found below in the article titled, "Why They Stop." The article can also be found on the US Youth Soccer Association Web Site.

Why They Stop
August 28, 2008

By Vince Ganzberg, Director of Education for Indiana Youth Soccer, proud member of US Youth Soccer

"Mom and Dad, I don't want to play anymore!"

After investing the time and money into any sport, this is the last thing a parent wants to hear, but it happens.

Frequently.

Children quitting organized sports occurs more often than one might think. Research has shown that approximately 70-75% of children will quit playing a sport by the age of 14. Why do they want to stop? To answer that question let's look at why they start or why parents put their children into a sport in the first place.

1. Competence (learning and improving)

2. Affiliation (Being a part of something like a team or a club)

3. Fitness (agility, balance, coordination, and physical health)

4. Fun (This is the overwhelming reason why children play sports)

Notice that "winning" is not one of the reasons.

When children leave a game, they want to know two things: 1) When do we play again? 2) Where is the snack? Children are not as concerned about winning as adults may think. Children all want to compete, but they each have their own interpretation of competitiveness. For most, if one team is red and the other is blue then "game on." Children strive to do their best when they step into "competition." They also want competitive matches. Remember when you were a child playing in the backyard and the game was too lopsided? What did you do? I remember stopping those games to start a new one with different teams or balance the game out. I think many of us forget what emotions we went through growing up as a child and how we viewed competition.

Let's get into why they stop. Research says children stop playing sports for a variety of reasons. Six of the seven primary reasons are "ADULT CONTROLLED" behaviors. Can you guess which one isn't?

• Lack of Playing Time

• Overemphasis on Winning

• Other Activities are more interesting

• Lack of Fun

• Coaching/Adult Behaviors

• Dissatisfaction with Performance

• Lack of Social Support

If you guessed "Other activities are more interesting" then you are correct! Give yourself a pat on the back. There are times when a child just finds something new that they really like. The rest of the reasons are adult controlled behaviors. When adult controlled behaviors are forcing children out of a sport, adults are putting themselves before the needs and development of children.

Lack of Playing Time (27% of Infinity Soccer voted for this as the reason)

This is an adult controlled behavior due to the coaches and parents wanting to "win" the game. Do players want to win? Absolutely! They all strive to do their very best to win. Research has also shown that children today would rather play than sit the bench for a winning team. Allow your players to play in the game for their own sake. As a coach you need to see their "soul" on the field and allow them to get into the game so they can get better. Not putting children into a game is like not allowing them to take a test in school. There is nothing wrong with having some players earning more time, but all players should be given a minimum time to play.

Overemphasis on Winning (18% of Infinity Soccer voted for this as the reason)

"Winning isn't everything, it is the only thing". That is the famous Vince Lombardi quote which was also misquoted. He actually stated "The will to win isn't anything, it is the only thing". So many coaches feel as though their whole self-worth is out there on the field, and if they don't win as coaches, then "they" not the children are a failure.

The same goes for adults on the sidelines. A recently statistic showed that 25% of coaches quit due to adult expectations with regard to outcome. The late Bill Walsh stated that "Twenty percent of every game is by chance." In the 1980 winter Olympics, the Russian hockey team would have probably beaten us 9 out of 10 times but that day, it was America's day to win.

As a coach or parent, you can't control the outcome. If it is the other team's day, it's simply their day! Only two teams need to win in our country, and those are our Men's and Women's national teams. Soccer is a team sport that is "player" driven - once the ball starts rolling, there is nothing people outside the lines can do. Give them the game, and let them determine the outcome!

Lack of Fun (9% of Infinity Soccer voted for this as the reason)

Children view sports differently than adults. Most children, if not all, start playing a sport because it looks fun. There is a saying "Get them playing-keep them playing." Get their interest and then maintain it.

There is also a saying that "Drills destroy skills." No lines, laps or lectures. Soccer is a free flowing game where the players make decisions and decide the outcome. Instead, use training sessions that put players in an environment where they can make decisions and maximize touches on the ball.

As Director of Education traveling around the state, I am always surprised at how many coaches use the age-old practice plan starting with "laps." Coaches and adults need to know that endurance training is only effective at 12 to 18 months after PHV (Peak Height Velocity), which is about 13 years, 6 months for boys and 11 years, 6 months for girls. For the younger ages (6-10 years of age), you can work on their fitness (not just endurance) with the ball, rather than running laps.

"Teach don't talk." Our children live in a very busy world today. As a result, the ability for them to listen to coach talk has declined. Teach them in training, but make your points short and sweet. Also, include them in the process of learning by asking them questions on the topic you have for that training session.

Finally, let them play! "Over the past two decades, children have lost twelve hours of free time a week, including eight hours of unstructured play outdoor activities. The amount of time children spend in organized sports has doubled, and the number of minutes children devote to passive spectator leisure, not counting television but including sports viewing has increased fivefold from thirty minutes to over three hours," (Elkind, 1).

It is a different world we live in now. As a coach, you can give them some of that "free time" back by allowing them to play as soon as they arrive. I observed a club who does this, and their players are begging their parents to get them to training early because they know they get to play the game at the beginning. The game is the best teacher; so as a coach, allow them to play and express themselves and to have FUN!

Coaching/Adult Behaviors (27% of Infinity Soccer voted for this as the reason)

For some reason, some adults and coaches transform from Winnie the Pooh to a grizzly bear when a game rolls around. Everything from yelling at officials' bad calls to conversing with parents from the other team is widely seen throughout youth sports. Remember this - without referees, there is no game!

Put yourself in someone else's shoes. Imagine that your child (who is a new referee) is getting verbally abused by adults because a hand ball was not called during a U6 match? As a parent, you have taught your children to be respectful of their elders and to give their very best on the field. Verbal abuse of the officials on the field leads to referee loss. Did you know that nearly 75% of the referees in Indiana are under the age of 16? We must provide a tolerant, respectful, safe environment for these referees to use as a training ground, and it starts with each and every one of us. It takes a village to raise a child, whether they are players or referees.

Be a role model for your child. Try to view a game like a "grandparent." They just want to go and see their grandchild be happy. Let's take a lesson from this. They have been there, done that. Experience is a great teacher. As a parent you want to see a child's "soul" when they are out on the field and not just their face. Kids can only play freely when we, as adults, allow them to control their own destiny.

The numbers don't lie, only a small percentage of players will go on to play in college, and even fewer than that will play at the professional level. Refer back to the reason why you enrolled your child in a sport in the first place. I am sure for the majority of you; it was for one the four reasons at the beginning of this article – competence, affiliation, fitness or fun. Please remember that your child is not you! Your childhood is over - give your kids the game.

Dissatisfaction with Performance (4% of Infinity Soccer voted for this as the reason)

Stay away from "PGA" or Post Game Analysis in the minivan/SUV after the match. Coaches, stay away from the "PGA" closing statements after a tough loss. Children remember this, and feedback isn't always what they want to hear. Children know when they make a mistake in a match. Repeating it again verbally isn't the answer. Try to shift gears and turn a negative into a positive. Let it go, and make sure that they know you still love them no matter how many mistakes they make. There is a reason why the X Games are popular with children. The most prevalent is that they can determine their own outcome, be creative, and make mistakes, without anyone analyzing their performance.

Lack of Social Support (0% of Infinity Soccer voted for this as the reason)

There is "tough" love and there is "TOUGH" love. Most athletes that make it to the next level mention their parents gave them "tough" love but were supportive of them every step of the way.

This actually ties in with dissatisfaction of performance. Be there for your kids through the tough times and the good. It is easy to be supportive of them after a victory, a game winning goal or an important save. Remind your children that tough times don't usually last, but tough people do. When children feel abandoned by their parents/coaches that is when they often go to something else. Sometimes, that something else isn't a positive activity.

We all can help create a better environment to make sure that children begin playing and keep playing, staying active, keeping healthy, and making them lifelong participants in athletics.

Have Fun!

Reference:

Elkind, David, Ph.D. 2007. ""The Power Of Play: how spontaneous, imaginative activities lead to happier, healthier children"". Cambridge, MA: Da Capo Press.